A case for having personal mantras
(you can always just decide that you are so back)
Once in a blue moon, a seemingly simple quote, phrase, lyric or otherwise comes across my desk and rewires my entire psyche. Dramatic, but true. For some reason the string of words holds a truth I didn’t know I was looking for and scratches my brain just right.
And it’s always kismet. I’m never searching for the words; instead, they find me at exactly the right time—no sooner than when I’m ready to hear them, no later than when I need them most. A few weeks ago, I stumbled upon one of these messages.
I was in a funk. An unwarranted, weird, dark headspace that was completely my own doing. The voice inside my head would oscillate between sharp and bitter (comparison kills!) to melancholic gloom (is there ever anything good on the news?). Everything just felt icky. And for some reason I just kept wallowing in it.
In the midst of this dark cloud, I opened my phone for the 4,756th time (helpful!) and the algorithm served me a video so perfect, my sense of existential dread and self-loathing was cured almost instantly.
In the video was a cool girl in a cool outfit, walking through a crowded bar with the bouncy, carefree confidence of someone who has it all. A Fleetwood Mac mashup played and overlayed on the video were the words:
you can always just decide that you are so back.
I watched it over and over again. The simplicity! The truth! It was like she (cool girl) reached through the phone, grabbed my shoulders and shook the life back into me: GET IT TOGETHER, GIRL, THERE’S FUN TO BE HAD.
It was a gentle reminder from the ~uni~ that you control your happiness; you write your own reality. There are a million things that are out of your control but your reactions, your mindset, and your perspective are always yours to manage and create. I was choosing to look for the negative and let it consume me… how totally embarrassing is that?
Meet the mantras.
Reading these simple, silly words on TikTok, and having such a strong reaction to them, made me think about the other quotes that have left a big impression on me. There are three that standout and have since become personal mantras. They help shape my decision-making and keep me grounded. I find comfort in their meaning, knowing that if I follow their direction I’ll remain on the right path!
Maybe you have one of your own that you’re thinking about right now. But I’ll share mine with you here—just in case you need a little inspo:
She who dares wins | A reminder to be brave and live loudly. I saw this quote when I was in college and it set the tone for my entire 20s. I was craving adventure and unique experiences. It helped me find the courage to live in different countries, move to different cities, make friends around the world, and generally take risks and put myself out there. I also deeply resonated with POV being ‘she’—it felt personal.
Luck favors the prepared | A reminder to be ready for the best possible outcome.
My Dad told me this often when I was growing up. There are many iterations of these words, including Louis Pasteur’s “chance favors the prepared mind” and the title of Ina Garten’s delightful memoir, Be Ready When the Luck Happens. But the sentiment is all the same: luck is only lucky when you’re ready to capitalize on it. Otherwise, it’s a missed opportunity.
Respond to every call that excites your spirit | A reminder to honor your dreams and desires.
My favorite quote by Rumi. The first time I read it, I instantly thought of New York; a place that had always pulled me in this deep, unshakable way. As a California girl, NYC felt foreign and glamorous and important. The only place that mattered! The center of the universe! Reading this validated my feelings and filled me with a sense of purpose to respond to that call. Not as a frivolous thought, but as an intentional act of self-discovery.
What are your mantras? Plz share below.
Practicing what you preach.
A week or so after deciding I was, in fact, so back, I had a perfect Sunday that only so back me could have had. When I left my apartment I saw a LaMarca prosecco poster on the liquor store across the street that read “What’s the best that could happen?” And I swear by acknowledging it, I set off a cosmic series of fortunate events & summoned all the goodness in the world.
I took an e-bike from downtown Manhattan to the Upper West Side along the West Side Highway, one of my most cherished city activities. Instead of wearing workout clothes, I put on this poofy polka dot dress and threw some biker shorts on underneath. Something about the day felt like it warranted a proper outfit, regardless of practicality.
I put on a playlist of feel good songs and began my ride. Despite a road closure and 20-block detour, I kept on my merry way and not-so surprisingly ended up exactly where I wanted to be. I went to my favorite flea market (The Grand Bazaar) and gasped when I saw the most gorgeous pair of vintage Prada heels. Of course, they were in my size. I walked to Central Park to read my book and sat next to a puppy named Lola, the same name as my childhood dog. I walked all the way home, gleeful and grateful that the flashing lights of Times Square were part of my casual Sunday commute. Inner child bursting!
It felt like all my mantras had worked together to bring me to this (seemingly ordinary) moment. She dared and she’s winning! Luck favored her preparedness! The call that excited her was worth the response! She was sooo back.
xx, Caylee
Just do it‼️
Reading this delightful edition put such a smile on my face. SHE'S SO BACK!! And with new Prada heels to boot! love youuuuu xx